Today was a good day. I woke up to beautiful flowers that the husband bought for me. Were they a last minute purchase?? Absolutely. I wouldn't have expected less. Love you husband, but you're not much of a planner.
Nevertheless they were a bright spot to an early morning. Church, cooking, dance parties with friends. It was a great day.
I found myself watching my beautiful daughter. And as I sat back watching, I began to project my insecurities on to her. Mostly in my head as I watched her try to interact with some girls that are a year older than her. She wanted to play with them, and just fit in so bad....and she was shut down every time. I watched the disappointment wash over her face and truthfully I think she was more confused than anything. She was longing to just be one of them and to be doing whatever they were doing. Bless her heart, she got over it and went to play with the younger kids.
But as I watched this scenario unfold, my mothers heart hurt for her. Remembering what it was like to not fit in. To long to just be "one of them". Luckily she is still so young that she doesn't get it, and I'm thankful for that. I found myself wanting to make the other kids play with her and accept her, but what kind of friendship would that be? How fun would that have been for any of them?
I was applying my experiences to her and feeling hurt for her that she doesn't have.
So, today my lesson is to remember that my daughter is her own person. She is not me, she is not destined to have the same childhood that I had. The same rejection or hurts. She is a beautiful, wonderful, tender-hearted, stubborn, hard headed, and loving girl with her own future. Love you doodlebug. To the moon and back.